A woman asked me(Hitorisan). 「When a rebellious phase son gets into a hostile physical fight with his father, it can be challenging. There have been incidents where we had to involve the police twice. In such situations, how should the mother handle it?」
I answer like this. Two guys are so energetic!lol The family is successful unless they kill each other. If the family members are fine, they have a good relationship. When it comes to parent-child fights during the rebellious phase that require police intervention, it’s not a big deal. Once your son grows up, it will become a mere anecdote to laugh about. So, try not to take it too seriously.
Also, remember that as a mother, you are the sunshine of the household. If the women in the house are laughing, it creates a bright atmosphere. No serious problems will arise from that.
No matter how difficult the rebellious phase may be, a child in a household where the mother is laughing will never go astray. Eventually, things will settle down, so there’s no need to worry. In that sense, what you should do as a mother is to dress up and go out more. Enjoy your hobbies or work to the fullest, and make yourself smile. You can even consider finding a boyfriend(lol). When you become engrossed in having fun and emitting a joyful vibe, the energy in the house will undoubtedly change. When the mother is having a great time, laughing and playing around, it will influence the husband and the children. It’s not the time to stay locked up at home just because your son is going through a rebellious phase. If you do that, the mother’s energy will become stifled, and it will only invite more severe rebellion.
In the first place, it’s good to have a rebellious phase. The problem lies when a child in the rebellious phase cannot express their defiance in front of their parents. Children who appear well-behaved to their parents are usually just holding back. If you constantly make them suppress themselves and don’t let them call you names like “stupid old hag” or “stupid old man,” they will eventually explode. They will reach a breaking point and snap. This is what people commonly refer to as “losing it,” and in severe cases, it can escalate to assault or even murder.
Parents who are unaware of these things might say, “My child suddenly turned violent. What could be wrong?” But it’s not a sudden occurrence. The child has been suppressing their emotions for a long time. It’s crucial to understand this and provide them with a healthy outlet. Do you understand?
When a person goes out of control, it’s the result of enduring an accumulation of frustration. It’s like when you heat water gradually, and once it reaches 100 degrees Celsius, it boils. But if you add water before it reaches boiling point, the intensity decreases. If you add a little water early on, you can prevent it from boiling over. The human mind works in a similar way. When it reaches its limit, it can result in violence, self-harm, or even suicide. Therefore, it’s essential to release the pressure as soon as possible. If you can do that, your child won’t go out of control, and the rebellious phase will naturally subside.
In Hanae-chan’s seminar, there are activities where people intentionally shout things like “stupid old hag” or “stupid old man.” When you shout loudly, it feels refreshing and incredibly satisfying, and everyone’s faces change completely. That’s why adults are willing to pay money to attend such events. Even adults struggle when they accumulate stress, so it’s absurd to force it upon children. Also, during a child’s rebellious phase, it’s crucial for them to feel a sense of security that says, “I can safely vent my emotions in this household.” In a way, it’s a form of dependence and cuteness towards the parents. So, try to let them depend on you until they feel satisfied.
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